Reasons for Teens to Wait
Q. I’m fifteen years old and my boy friend is seventeen. We have been together for two months and he now wants us to have sex. Some of my girl friends are facing the same question. One of them is already sexually active and says I should go ahead. Another friend got pregnant, so I’m scared. Are there good reasons to wait?
A. There are many good reasons to wait. There is growing evidence that teen sex before marriage is not a good idea. Here are some reasons why.
1. Sex before marriage can kill you. Couples who have sex before marriage are at high risk for contracting HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. There are five dozen sexually transmitted diseases. Nearly two dozen are incurable. A gynecology researcher found that when a woman has three or more sexual partners the odds of getting cervical cancer jump 15 times. Teen sex can lead to disease or death.
2. There is no safe sex. Condoms are not the solution. In spite of all the public health messages, one study showed that only 41 percent of sexually active college women used condoms. In the heat of passion who remembers or cares about condoms? Condoms must be used every time to prevent disease. Condoms have a 4 percent breakage rate. Birth control pills are not 100 percent effective either. Fifty percent of women who have had abortions say they were using birth control and it failed. Teen sex isn’t safe.
3. There is no cure for many sexually transmitted diseases. There is no cure for AIDS. There is no cure for herpes or genital warts. Gonorrhea and Chlamydia can affect your ability to get pregnant and may harm your baby if you get pregnant. Teen sex is dangerous
4. Teen sex can weigh you down with responsibility. Are you ready for the responsibility of raising a child? Couples who have sex before marriage are at risk for having an unwanted pregnancy.
5. Teen sex will complicate your life. Becoming sexually intimate at a young age may overwhelm you emotionally. You are adjusting to many changes already without this added pressure. The teen years are characterized by mood swings. One day you feel happy and confident and the next day you have the blues. This is due to the many hormonal changes taking place as you mature physically. You also are facing greater social pressures as a teen.
6. Teen sex involves no real commitment. You may be convinced you are “in love” but how can you tell for certain when passion replaces getting to know one another? How will you feel when the relationship ends a few months from now, or even a year from now? Breakups can be devastating at any age. Adolescent depression is often caused by an unhappy sexual relationship.
7. Teen sex is not the best sex. It is often hurried and inept. Secrecy surrounds it. Mixed feelings of guilt and fear detract from pleasure. This pattern of quick, secretive sex may carry over into marriage. The best sex happens in marriage where there is a permanent friendship, a solid commitment, as well as privacy and time for leisurely sex. Couples who abstained before marriage were 29 to 47 percent more likely to enjoy sex after marriage.
8. Abstinence will train you both for faithfulness in marriage. Teen sex may make it difficult to bond in marriage as memories of past sexual acts are recalled and comparisons are made. Passion can also fool you into marrying the wrong person. Do you want to be faithful to the man you marry? Do you want him to be faithful to you? If he really loves you, he will want to wait and so will you.
9. God designed sex for marriage and for having children. He had good reasons for this. His plan is best for you. There are many good reasons to wait.
“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality.” 1 Thessalonians 4:3 NIV