Why do an article on such a controversial subject as the biblical reasons for divorce?
Recently I was asked by someone who wished to remain anonymous to post an article on the subject of biblical reasons for divorce. Since I felt that the author of this article does a much better job of explaining the biblical teaching on divorce than I ever could, I chose to repost it for everyone. I included an addendum on the end that covers specifically the issue of divorce and ministry. I hope it helps all of you who are dealing with the biblical reasons for divorce.
What does the Bible really teach about divorce?
by David Instone-Brewer
What Does the Bible Say?
The New Testament presents a problem in understanding both what the text says about divorce and its pastoral implications. Jesus appears to say that divorce is allowed only if adultery has occurred: “Whoever divorces a wife, except for sexual indecency, and remarries, commits adultery” (Matt. 19:9). However, this has been interpreted in many different ways. Most say that Jesus allows divorce only for adultery. But some argue that Jesus originally didn’t allow even that. Only in Matthew does he offer an out from marriage: “except for sexual indecency.” Beyond what Jesus says, Paul also allows divorce. He permits it for abandonment by a nonbeliever (1 Cor. 7:12-15). Many theologians add this as a second ground for divorce.
Yet some pastors have found this teaching difficult to accept, because it seems so impractical—even cruel in certain situations. It suggests there can be no divorce for physical or emotional abuse, and Paul even seems to forbid separation (1 Cor. 7:10).
As a result, some Christians quietly ignore this seemingly “impractical” biblical teaching or find ways around it. For example, they suggest that when Jesus talked about “sexual immorality,” perhaps he included other things like abuse. Or when Paul talked about abandonment by a nonbeliever, perhaps he included any behavior that is not supportive of the marriage or abandonment by anyone who is acting like a nonbeliever. Many have welcomed such stretching of Scripture because they couldn’t accept what they believed the text apparently said.
But does the literal text mean what we think it does? While doing doctoral studies at Cambridge, I likely read every surviving writing of the rabbis of Jesus’ time. I “got inside their heads” enough to begin to understand them. When I began working as a pastor and was confronted almost immediately with divorced men and women who wanted to remarry, my first response was to re-read the Bible. I’d read the biblical texts on divorce many times in the past, but I found something strange as I did so again. They now said something I hadn’t heard before I read the rabbis!
‘Any Cause’ Divorce
The texts hadn’t changed, but my knowledge of the language and culture in which they were written had. I was now reading them like a first-century Jew would have read them, and this time those confusing passages made more sense. My book, Divorce and Remarriage in the Church (InterVarsity Press), is a summary of several academic papers and books I began writing with this new understanding of what Jesus taught.
One of my most dramatic findings concerns a question the Pharisees asked Jesus: “Is it lawful to divorce a wife for any cause?” (Matt. 19:3). This question reminded me that a few decades before Jesus, some rabbis (the Hillelites) had invented a new form of divorce called the “any cause” divorce. By the time of Jesus, this “any cause” divorce had become so popular that almost no one relied on the literal Old Testament grounds for divorce.
The “any cause” divorce was invented from a single word in Deuteronomy 24:1. Moses allowed divorce for “a cause of immorality,” or, more literally, “a thing of nakedness.” Most Jews recognized that this unusual phrase was talking about adultery. But the Hillelite rabbis wondered why Moses had added the word “thing” or “cause” when he only needed to use the word “immorality.” They decided this extra word implied another ground for divorce—divorce for “a cause.” They argued that anything, including a burnt meal or wrinkles not there when you married your wife, could be a cause! The text, they said, taught that divorce was allowed both for adultery and for “any cause.”
Another group of rabbis (the Shammaites) disagreed with this interpretation. They said Moses’ words were a single phrase that referred to no type of divorce “except immorality”—and therefore the new “any cause” divorces were invalid. These opposing views were well known to all first-century Jews. And the Pharisees wanted to know where Jesus stood. “Is it lawful to divorce your wife for any cause?” they asked. In other words: “Is it lawful for us to use the ‘any cause’ divorce?”
When Jesus answered with a resounding no, he wasn’t condemning “divorce for any cause,” but rather the newly invented “any cause” divorce. Jesus agreed firmly with the second group that the phrase didn’t mean divorce was allowable for “immorality” and for “any cause,” but that Deutermonomy 24:1 referred to no type of divorce “except immorality.”
This was a shocking statement for the crowd and for the disciples. It meant they couldn’t get a divorce whenever they wanted it—there had to be a lawful cause. It also meant that virtually every divorced man or women was not really divorced, because most of them had “any cause” divorces. Luke and Matthew summarized the whole debate in one sentence: Any divorced person who remarried was committing adultery (Matt. 5:32; Luke 16:18), because they were still married. The fact that they said “any divorced person” instead of “virtually all divorced people” is typical Jewish hyperbole—like Mark saying that “everyone” in Jerusalem came to be baptized by John (Mark 1:5). It may not be obvious to us, but their first readers understood clearly what they meant.
Within a few decades, however, no one understood these terms any more. Language often changes quickly (as I found out when my children first heard the Flintstones sing about “a gay old time”). The early church, and even Jewish rabbis, forgot what the “any cause” divorce was, because soon after the days of Jesus, it became the only type of divorce on offer. It was simply called divorce.
This meant that when Jesus condemned “divorce for ‘any cause,’ ” later generations thought he meant “divorce for any cause.”
Reaffirming marriage
Now that we know what Jesus did reject, we can also see what he didn’t reject. He wasn’t rejecting the Old Testament—he was rejecting a faulty Jewish interpretation of the Old Testament. He defended the true meaning of Deuteronomy 24:1. And there is one other surprising thing he didn’t reject: Jesus didn’t reject the other ground for divorce in the Old Testament, which all Jews accepted.
Although the church forgot the other cause for divorce, every Jew in Jesus’ day knew about Exodus 21:10-11, which allowed divorce for neglect. Before rabbis introduced the “any cause” divorce, this was probably the most common type. Exodus says that everyone, even a slave wife, had three rights within marriage—the rights to food, clothing, and love. If these were neglected, the wronged spouse had the right to seek freedom from that marriage. Even women could, and did, get divorces for neglect—though the man still had to write out the divorce certificate. Rabbis said he had to do it voluntarily, so if he resisted, the courts had him beaten till he volunteered!
These three rights became the basis of Jewish marriage vows—we find them listed in marriage certificates discovered near the Dead Sea. In later Jewish and Christian marriages, the language became more formal, such as “love, honor, and keep.” These vows, together with a vow of sexual faithfulness, have always been the basis for marriage. Thus, the vows we make when we marry correspond directly to the biblical grounds for divorce.
The three provisions of food, clothing, and love were understood literally by the Jews. The wife had to cook and sew, while the husband provided food and materials, or money. They both had to provide the emotional support of marital love, though they could abstain from sex for short periods. Paul taught the same thing. He said that married couples owed each other love (1 Cor. 7:3-5) and material support (1 Cor. 7:33-34). He didn’t say that neglect of these rights was the basis of divorce because he didn’t need to—it was stated on the marriage certificate. Anyone who was neglected, in terms of emotional support or physical support, could legally claim a divorce.
Divorce for neglect included divorce for abuse, because this was extreme neglect. There was no question about that end of the spectrum of neglect, but what about the other end? What about abandonment, which was merely a kind of passive neglect? This was an uncertain matter, so Paul deals with it. He says to all believers that they may not abandon their partners, and if they have done so, they should return (1 Cor. 7:10-11). In the case of someone who is abandoned by an unbeliever—someone who won’t obey the command to return—he says that the abandoned person is “no longer bound.”
Anyone in first-century Palestine reading this phrase would think immediately of the wording at the end of all Jewish, and most Roman, divorce certificates: “You are free to marry anyone you wish.”
Putting all this together gives us a clear and consistent set of rules for divorce and remarriage.
Divorce is only allowed for a limited number of grounds that are found in the Old Testament and affirmed in the New Testament:
• Adultery (in Deuteronomy 24:1, affirmed by Jesus in Matthew 19)
• Emotional and physical neglect (in Exodus 21:10-11, affirmed by Paul in 1 Corinthians 7)
• Abandonment and abuse (included in neglect, as affirmed in 1 Corinthians 7)
Jewish couples listed these biblical grounds for divorce in their marriage vows. We reiterate them as love, honor, and keep and be faithful to each other. When these vows were broken, it threatened to break up the marriage. As in any broken contract, the wronged party had the right to say, “I forgive you; let’s carry on,” or, “I can’t go on, because this marriage is broken.”
Therefore, while divorce should never happen, God allows it (and subsequent remarriage) when your partner breaks the marriage vows.
Reading the Bible and ancient Jewish documents side-by-side helped me understand much more of the Bible’s teaching about divorce and marriage, not all of which I can summarize here. Dusty scraps of parchment rescued from synagogue rubbish rooms, desert caves, and neglected scholarly collections shone fresh light on the New Testament. Theologians who have long felt that divorce should be allowed for abuse and abandonment may be vindicated. And, more importantly, victims of broken marriages can see that God’s law is both practical and loving.
David Instone-Brewer is senior research fellow in rabbinics and the New Testament at Tyndale House, Cambridge. He is married with two daughters.
So now for my thoughts on Divorce and Ministry.
We have all heard the interpretations taken from 1 Tim. 5:2 and Titus 1:6, That if a man is divorced it disqualifies him for ministry. But is that what these passages really say? They both say that a man is to be the husband of one wife. Now those that would say that this prohibits a man from ministry after divorce, assume that this means one wife for a lifetime. Their same interpretation would prohibit a widower from serving as well. Along with that, if they were to use the same standard for all the qualifications listed in these passages, then any man who has or had unruly kids in their lifetime would be disqualified, any man who ever followed his own will would be disqualified, who is or who had been greedy, inhospitable, had or has an anger problem, who had ever been drunk, is or ever had been drunk, would not be qualified either. Well there goes the entire human race!
Secondly, this interpretation flies in the face of other major doctrines of the Bible.
Justification (just as if had never happened) is by faith, not works lest any man should boast. If we are justified by faith, which means just as if it never happened, then why is what never happened being taken into consideration?
The cleansing power of Jesus? The blood of Jesus cleanses us from all unrighteousness. So why would Paul be calling what God had called clean, unclean?
Finally, God throws our sins into the sea of forgetfulness. So once again, why would God be mandating against something that He Himself has forgotten?
So what is the proper interpretation?
Paul had already made it clear in 1 Cor. 7:32 that he felt it was better to stay unmarried and be able to focus only on the things of the Lord, than to get married. So it only makes sense that Paul, who was laying out practical considerations for those that would lead a church, to not want a man to have more than one wife. Polygamy was still prevalent in the day of Paul, and a man who had to care for more than one wife, would not have time to properly care for the church of God.
So concerning divorce and ministry. If a sinner can receive forgiveness for a sin, and if a Christian can receive forgiveness for a sin, and then subsequently enter into ministry, then so can a divorcee’. There are no big sins or little sins. If a murderer, drunkard, blackmailer, or thief can get forgiveness and turn from that sin, and enter into ministry, so can someone who has been divorced. And dare I say it? Even if they made the same mistake more than once! Look at Aimee Semple McPherson. Married 3 times, divorced twice, widowed once. She was mightily used by God in ministry. And she is not the only one. There are thousands across this nation that refuse to bow to the judgmentalism of self righteous hypocrites. If God can use a sinner saved by grace, then He can use anyone, including you, and including the same hypocrites after they repent.
Now that is something to think about!
I hope you have enjoyed this article on the biblical reasons for divorce. We do not serve an unreasonable God and so as much as I love my brothers and sisters in the Lord that teach a hardlined stand against divorce, I implore you by the mercies of God to stop wounding those that have been hurt and traumatized by divorce and start preaching the entire counsel of the word of God concerning the biblical reasons for divorce.
You can get David Brewsters book about the biblical reasons for divorce at Amazon
About the Author:
Pastor Duke Taber has been a believer in Jesus for 33 years. He has been a pastor for over 20 years currently serving at the Vineyard church in Pine Haven Wyoming and was formerly the secretary treasurer of White Pine County Ministerial Association. He is an alumnus of LIFE Bible College and Multnomah Biblical Seminary. He is a syndicated blogger at The Christian Post and Believe.com You can connect with Pastor Duke on Google+, Twitter, or on Facebook
PastorDuke – who has written 727 posts on Taber's Truths Christian Living Magazine.
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I think it is sad how people over the years have allowed divorce more and more in the pursuit of personal satisfaction. If more couples practiced unconditional commitment to each other and truly honored the sanctity of marriage, then the divorce rate would surely plummet. And families would be the better for it.
I do think you make a erroneous assumption or judgment concerning why people get divorced. Many assume that people get divorced for personal gain or satisfaction of some kind. That is like saying alcoholics drink because they like the taste of alcohol. The core spiritual reason for divorce is hardness of heart towards God and their spouse. They symptoms of that reason are as varied as there are people. To assume that divorcee’s condone or want divorce is just as erroneous. Every sincere believer that I know that has gone through the pain of divorce, hates divorce with a passion. Just as God does. http://taberstruths.com/does-god-say-about-divorce/
I think it is sad how people over the years have allowed divorce more and more in the pursuit of personal satisfaction. If more couples practiced unconditional commitment to each other and truly honored the sanctity of marriage, then the divorce rate would surely plummet. And families would be the better for it.
I do think you make a erroneous assumption or judgment concerning why people get divorced. Many assume that people get divorced for personal gain or satisfaction of some kind. That is like saying alcoholics drink because they like the taste of alcohol. The core spiritual reason for divorce is hardness of heart towards God and their spouse. They symptoms of that reason are as varied as there are people. To assume that divorcee’s condone or want divorce is just as erroneous. Every sincere believer that I know that has gone through the pain of divorce, hates divorce with a passion. Just as God does. http://taberstruths.com/does-god-say-about-divorce/
Hello! I stumbled across your site tonight when looking for some bible verses and I am so glad I did. I stopped attending church five years ago for a number of reasons, but have prayed ever since for God to help me, and He did. I am now in a different, and much better, place than I was prior to that time, and I have so many questions regarding my childhood and how I was raised and started my young adult life. I am now 28, but so many questions have plagued me since I was a teenager. Now I am trying to learn and grow in my journey, and I will probably read your site for hours! Some of the concepts are a little hard for me to grasp right off, I need to study, but I’ll read them over and over till I can. This article in particular caught my attention, and I thought it was amazing how you studied the context of the time period, and I can’t wait to look more in depth at the verses you cited. I wanted to say thank you for taking the time that you do to write these, I appreciate it and I know so many other people do as well!
Thank you Holly. Most of what I write comes from having to walk through something. I am glad this one was a blessing to you. I had to wrestle with a lot of issues and do a lot of study to sift through the opinions and find what I sincerely believe to be the truth about the divorce issue.
Hello! I stumbled across your site tonight when looking for some bible verses and I am so glad I did. I stopped attending church five years ago for a number of reasons, but have prayed ever since for God to help me, and He did. I am now in a different, and much better, place than I was prior to that time, and I have so many questions regarding my childhood and how I was raised and started my young adult life. I am now 28, but so many questions have plagued me since I was a teenager. Now I am trying to learn and grow in my journey, and I will probably read your site for hours! Some of the concepts are a little hard for me to grasp right off, I need to study, but I’ll read them over and over till I can. This article in particular caught my attention, and I thought it was amazing how you studied the context of the time period, and I can’t wait to look more in depth at the verses you cited. I wanted to say thank you for taking the time that you do to write these, I appreciate it and I know so many other people do as well!
Thank you Holly. Most of what I write comes from having to walk through something. I am glad this one was a blessing to you. I had to wrestle with a lot of issues and do a lot of study to sift through the opinions and find what I sincerely believe to be the truth about the divorce issue.
I am a man in a marriage that have been constantly abuse verbally and emotionally by my wife. My wife is a very aggressive type of woman and I am not. She has gotten me to a point where I actually think about killing myself for me not be in my situation. When I saw that I am aiming towards that I went and filed for divorce, where now we are separated until it finalized. My wife and I were not married for love, more of she got pregnant and I wanted to make things right in the eyes of God. the moment I found out she was pregnant was when Isat her down to break up with her then, when the symptoms kicked in, I held my tongue. She was willing to abort my son which I love today unless I married her. What advice do you have for me?
James, without knowing all the situation and both sides of the story, I really can’t give advice other than you talk to your pastor or someone else that you know is a believer. Ask your wife to join you in counseling before making such a big decision. Get those that are local to your community to help you with this. There is also help available at http://www.divorcecare.org
I am a man in a marriage that have been constantly abuse verbally and emotionally by my wife. My wife is a very aggressive type of woman and I am not. She has gotten me to a point where I actually think about killing myself for me not be in my situation. When I saw that I am aiming towards that I went and filed for divorce, where now we are separated until it finalized. My wife and I were not married for love, more of she got pregnant and I wanted to make things right in the eyes of God. the moment I found out she was pregnant was when Isat her down to break up with her then, when the symptoms kicked in, I held my tongue. She was willing to abort my son which I love today unless I married her. What advice do you have for me?
James, without knowing all the situation and both sides of the story, I really can’t give advice other than you talk to your pastor or someone else that you know is a believer. Ask your wife to join you in counseling before making such a big decision. Get those that are local to your community to help you with this. There is also help available at http://www.divorcecare.org
I totally disagree with pretty much everything the writer has said. I got a rude awakening from my wife divorcing me, and was told by ministers I was the innocent party, so it was permissible for me to remarry. After having spent the last 28 years rigorously researching the subject of divorce/remarriage, I’m of the opinion that the so-called “exception clause” (only found in Matthew) was directed to the Jews ONLY at that time and who were betrothed to be married(but as good as married)and found their future spouse not a virgin(like Joseph). To make a long story short, you would have scripture contradicting itself with the one flesh covenant for life if remarriage was permitted for ANY reason. I know of the exceptions the author stated, but I have different interpretations of them. One man/one woman, ’til death do us part. marriagedivorce.com/horst.htm
Thanks for your comment and the respectful way you addressed your disagreement. Although I disagree with your interpretation, I agree with the fact that scripture should not contradict itself which is why I side with the author, because it lines up with some very major tenants of our faith like justification by faith alone, the cleansing power of the blood of Jesus, and not calling those things unclean which God has called clean.
Blessings to you my brother.
I totally disagree with pretty much everything the writer has said. I got a rude awakening from my wife divorcing me, and was told by ministers I was the innocent party, so it was permissible for me to remarry. After having spent the last 28 years rigorously researching the subject of divorce/remarriage, I’m of the opinion that the so-called “exception clause” (only found in Matthew) was directed to the Jews ONLY at that time and who were betrothed to be married(but as good as married)and found their future spouse not a virgin(like Joseph). To make a long story short, you would have scripture contradicting itself with the one flesh covenant for life if remarriage was permitted for ANY reason. I know of the exceptions the author stated, but I have different interpretations of them. One man/one woman, ’til death do us part. marriagedivorce.com/horst.htm
Thanks for your comment and the respectful way you addressed your disagreement. Although I disagree with your interpretation, I agree with the fact that scripture should not contradict itself which is why I side with the author, because it lines up with some very major tenants of our faith like justification by faith alone, the cleansing power of the blood of Jesus, and not calling those things unclean which God has called clean.
Blessings to you my brother.
Well I don't know if this article, and the comments left, have given the anonymous person that asked me to post this article a new perspective or not, although they come daily to see if there are new comments. I believe that their intentions may not be as honorable as I had hoped. So I am going to close the comment section of this article to further comment. I pray that each and every one of you that read this article, pray that you never have to go through divorce, that you never have your trust betrayed, and if you do find yourself in that situation, that you find the grace to forgive, and move on. You only hurt yourself if you don't.
Well I don't know if this article, and the comments left, have given the anonymous person that asked me to post this article a new perspective or not, although they come daily to see if there are new comments. I believe that their intentions may not be as honorable as I had hoped. So I am going to close the comment section of this article to further comment. I pray that each and every one of you that read this article, pray that you never have to go through divorce, that you never have your trust betrayed, and if you do find yourself in that situation, that you find the grace to forgive, and move on. You only hurt yourself if you don't.
The thing about divorce is you can't hide it. The same as a pregnancy. I always really feel for people who are divorced or find themselves pregnant outside of marriage. Of course it is not what God wants, but God also didn't want the people who criticise them, to talk behind their backs, or to watch pornography or to get drunk and swear occasionally.
My point is divorce is a sin we can see, so we comment on how unsuitable it is. But the person or couple who we really admire and think is so Godly could have any number of unseen sins they are battling with.
I know from experience that God can restore any relationship – even one with abuse in it, maybe that is the sin, not handing your relationship over to God to restore and repair and rebuild again with love.
The thing about divorce is you can't hide it. The same as a pregnancy. I always really feel for people who are divorced or find themselves pregnant outside of marriage. Of course it is not what God wants, but God also didn't want the people who criticise them, to talk behind their backs, or to watch pornography or to get drunk and swear occasionally.
My point is divorce is a sin we can see, so we comment on how unsuitable it is. But the person or couple who we really admire and think is so Godly could have any number of unseen sins they are battling with.
I know from experience that God can restore any relationship – even one with abuse in it, maybe that is the sin, not handing your relationship over to God to restore and repair and rebuild again with love.
Laura, I had totally forgot the fact that God divorced Israel. That would mean that if a person does not believe that a divorced person can be a leader or shepherd of a flock, then God Himself is disqualified to be their leader or Good Shepherd!
Great Point!
Laura, I had totally forgot the fact that God divorced Israel. That would mean that if a person does not believe that a divorced person can be a leader or shepherd of a flock, then God Himself is disqualified to be their leader or Good Shepherd!
Great Point!
Their same interpretation would prohibit a widower from serving as well. Along with that, if they were to use the same standard for all the qualifications listed in these passages, then any man who has or had unruly kids in their lifetime would be disqualified, any man who ever followed his own will would be disqualified, who is or who had been greedy, inhospitable, had or has an anger problem, who had ever been drunk, is or ever had been drunk, would not be qualified either.
I fully agree with your assessment here. "Husband of one wife" is only one qualification mentioned on those lists yet somehow the rest of the lists get overlooked!
The theological article left me cold because I don't speak "theology," but I do know my Bible fairly well and in certain circles, I do believe too much is made of preachers being divorced.
Is it God's ideal? No. But if you look in Jeremiah 3:8 (KJV), God Himself is divorced.
Also to be considered is the fact that not every marriage is joined by God.
Their same interpretation would prohibit a widower from serving as well. Along with that, if they were to use the same standard for all the qualifications listed in these passages, then any man who has or had unruly kids in their lifetime would be disqualified, any man who ever followed his own will would be disqualified, who is or who had been greedy, inhospitable, had or has an anger problem, who had ever been drunk, is or ever had been drunk, would not be qualified either.
I fully agree with your assessment here. "Husband of one wife" is only one qualification mentioned on those lists yet somehow the rest of the lists get overlooked!
The theological article left me cold because I don't speak "theology," but I do know my Bible fairly well and in certain circles, I do believe too much is made of preachers being divorced.
Is it God's ideal? No. But if you look in Jeremiah 3:8 (KJV), God Himself is divorced.
Also to be considered is the fact that not every marriage is joined by God.
Lisa, you are right, there is too much divorce and remarriage within the church, but that is a result of hard hearts, not because of our stance on divorce and remarriage.
Lisa, you are right, there is too much divorce and remarriage within the church, but that is a result of hard hearts, not because of our stance on divorce and remarriage.
Hmmmm….well….food for thought. I personally think there's still too much divorce & remarriage within the church…but, that's all I'll comment on
Hmmmm….well….food for thought. I personally think there's still too much divorce & remarriage within the church…but, that's all I'll comment on
Excellent study! Thanks for posting. Have had this conversation with a few people lately. Why would God condone a marriage of abuse? It goes against His very nature. There are many, myself included, that for years stayed in a terrible, even dangerous situation, because they believed simply, "God hates divorce" on ANY grounds. God has called us to peace. Love your husbands, fear the Lord, serve Him with all your might, and He will deliver and take care of you – even if that means divorce.
Excellent study! Thanks for posting. Have had this conversation with a few people lately. Why would God condone a marriage of abuse? It goes against His very nature. There are many, myself included, that for years stayed in a terrible, even dangerous situation, because they believed simply, "God hates divorce" on ANY grounds. God has called us to peace. Love your husbands, fear the Lord, serve Him with all your might, and He will deliver and take care of you – even if that means divorce.